Mid week while in a sleep/wakefulness moment I dream pt about myself and a person who had decided to make me her enemy. We were outside the Albury Chapel in our cars and then standing beside them, she said something and my reply was, and this I remember quite clearly, though I paraphrase it 4 days later. “I know who I am, and I know who this church belongs to, and it is the Savior. You cannot move me or get me to be what you were trying to manipulate me into being, I know who I am and I know who my Savior is. What has gone before is now gone there is no carry on as if nothing has happened, I know who I am” I woke about this time and the dream/vision was so strong that it has stayed with me. I told President Clacy today about it as I know I can trust him. We both recognised that I have ‘found myself and my identity again after the period nursing George and going through bereavement for his loss to me. But now I am moving, and I feel quite quickly towards who I want to be and who my Father in Heaven wants me to be, to help his children on this earth. I have a loving, kind heart and on occasions it overflows with love for my fellow brothers and sisters. I want them to have what I have, a deep and abiding knowledge of who we are and of our Heavenly parents and the role our Savior plays in this ‘plan of happiness’ we are in on earth.
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For the next 2 days I am teaching history at Wodonga/ Albury Independent school for the lead teacher David. I taught the EL adult class last Wednesday so felt good knowing I had some funds
coming in this week. I must at
admit I have been cruising Clothes stores. Mm mm.
The work is not have hard and on occasions boring but I do my best to be engaged with the students. It certainly has little pressure and I can leave for home knowing my time is for me.
On Sunday I was set apart as a Branch Missionary, Tuesday I found out Goy ws pregnant with grandchild no 17 and Wednesday Nichoas arrived from the US.
I also officially retired from teaching,maybe some casual work but now I am a university student studing my Masters of TESOL.
FAMILY HISTORY continues on with constant surprises from strangers aking about their connections and my self also seeking after past and present family members.
My hair is now deep red on the fringe and a lighter brown on the rest. Short and straight I look like the British comedian Jo from QI.
This morning I started off with a teaching job a b d by 2pm gad none. Why?
The Adult Migrant Education scheme in compliance with the AQTF have raised the level of qualification to post graduation diplona fir teaching English as a second language.
So no job. I ave been asked to go in Monday to se if I will fit in with the 2 cool for school students. Back to casua relief teaching. Now I can add focus onto my studies.
Ah such is life.
On Monday 1/2/2016 I completed my Certificate 4 in TAE4110 Training and Assessment by presenting the final lesson on ‘How to create a drop dead presentation’ at the Albury Wodonga Community College in front of 8 of my peers. NOT my colleagues as I had done before but my future colleagues and peers.
AND I NAILED IT as modern day vernacular puts it. That meant that I now have been offered the position of lecturer at AWCC in the Cert 2 class on a casual basis but who knows where it will lead to. The 2 cool for school VET leader was also interested in me for casual relief teaching. so maybe a nearly full time job will now turn up out of this. I intend to still keep my church volunteer position open in the Family History Center of a Thursday so …. oh and I also was accepted to do my masters of TESOL at Charles Sturt University in Bathurst. I may just be a tad busy but also will need to be disciplined and focused.
Woohoo welcome to 2016, the year in which I learn and experience a lot.
My daughter Thea reminded me that if you insist on kicking down doors then you may find something behind one that you don’t like. True words of wisdom from a blond ‘fibberty gidget’ of the family.
As usual it got to tears before I made up my mind and resolved to find out why my certification had not come through from BOSTES NSW, and a persistent series of phone calls with no doubt some tone in my voice. The voice on the other end gently reminded me that it was Friday and soon to be feet up and coffee time. I can still feel a growl in my mind when I replay our conversation, and of course the universal panacea of all things that could go wrong was placed at the feet of the IT gods. note small spelling of gods.
Having had a run in with them on the day before with no wireless connections and an online training to be conducted from a family history trainer in Missouri, US I was less than forgiving but sanguine in the face of reality and the IT gods wishes and dispatches to oblivion.
I am 2/3rd of the way through my Cert 4 Train the Trainer and feeling confident, 5 more assessments and 2 x 45 min training sessions with holistic TAS documentation.
I am also searching for funded and accessible Cert 4 TESOL courses run by local Universities but so far the only one requires a day per week in Melbourne for face to face study. as al this costs $3300.00 it is not a easy thing to manage.
I am also seeking work to fund my ongoing life here and starting to deal with the practicalities of a tight budget, Centrelink and job searches. And that doesn’t even begin to deal with my voluntary life as a Family History Director and Self Reliance facilitator.
Rereading this means I will still kick down doors, doing it in the way that will allow safe ingress and gain me what I want and need is the challenge. Thea is right, the Scottish/Irish/English view of door sundering is less about might and ore about finesses now. Well not on all occasions!
Winter seemed to drag by bringing with it first the flu then a head cold, the latter producing low blood pressure and headaches.
However as all diurnal seasons teach us spring has arrived and a flurry of opened petals and activities announced themselves.
A visit to a Thai healer with massage and yoga stretching today has made my world feel brighter and hopefully tomorrow will bring less cold virus and more ‘it’s great to be alive’ feeling.
I have started my first week as the Family History Director and decided that paper work was a fact of life and to ‘just do it’. The same goes for blogging and gardening and family history research. ‘Just Do It’.
As for work, well some days back into High schools have taught me it is only for the money! and a TAE course in 3 weeks will hopefully move me into College work line. My application is in to the NSW Dept. of Education and hopefully that will be resolved and cleared soon. So much for me getting to NSW for the 22nd June and updating my application. It took till the 1st September to be done.
I have been to a seminar on Grieving which I found very helpful. I still dissolve onto tears talking about George, he was the love of my life and my confidence to be me. I always talked a good talk but failed at the do it follow up.
I had wanted to name this blog “There is life in the old dog yet: but others had taken it so… phase 3 life it is because that is very much how I feel my life is now. Phase 3.
I was thinking about moving to phase 4 in May, seems all my crisis of the soul seem to arrange themselves to come crashing in in May, however a more perfect being than I will ever be reminded me that my core problems were because I was not looking after myself, I was not being true to myself and I was not moving. Fear always did lay a heavy hand on my shoulder.
Now here I am in Wodonga, Victoria organising my next phase in life. I woke this morning to the realisation that what I wanted to do was to become a garden teacher/creator, add in Literacy and Numeracy for adults and I felt I was some way to the stage of life work I wanted. Wont make me rich in monetary reward but will in other ways.
Online research about Permaculture and associated projects and I knew this was it. I could either bounce in “and grab the bull by the horns” or ‘shilly shally’ around looking for work in the Secondary sector and ending up hating it all again.
I allowed the ‘cultivating creativity’ of Wholeness Living to take over and it is not prepared to let go for which I am grateful.
Next will come the research into courses that will allow this to flower, leaping into the dark of certainty and finding “MY Meaningful Work” Phase 3.
letting go, trusting, being grateful and happy despite the circumstances.